I'm just sitting here wondering why everyone is so worked up about the VT killings when hundreds of innocent people are dying everyday because of war, poverty, and illness...
no one is making facebook groups and icons for them...
maybe it's because those deaths aren't broadcast as "breaking news" on major tv stations.

just a thought.

I'm sitting here on my ass instead of being productive. I COULD be a)packing up my stuff b)starting my CWG project that is due tomorrow c) doing laundry d) a million other things...

So I'm nervous. My stomach has been sick all day. Steve and I are moving into his brother Joe's apt. for the spring and summer and we are going to take over Joe's friend Bill's part of the lease. It makes me nervous. I need a sedative. I can't exactly put my finger on why I am so damn nervous about this move. Moving is just stressful for everyone I suppose. Steve is like...the only problem I have with it is it's kitty-corner from a crackhouse... and I'm like...dude I used to live in a crackhouse, we'll be fine...

LOL

le sigh

I'm hungry...Steve needs to hurry up and get out of class so we can make dinner.
Also, how come I always make sweet friends TWO WEEKS before they are moving home for break!?

Steve and I started working on the guest list for our future wedding and I am starting to reconsider some of the people that I put on the list. I'm starting to realize that just because they were your friend in highschool doesn't mean they deserve to come to your wedding.

Yay! Details!

I think it was last Monday when Joe (Steve's brother) was talking to us at work and said, "I'm thinking about taking Diana to the Botanical Gardens this weekend, would you guys wanna come?". So, thinking nothing of it I said sure! THEN Steve said, "Well, even if Joe and Diana don't end up going...we could still go without them." THAT tipped me off. Steve and I had our first date at the Botanical Gardens on November 19, 2005. I thought it was kinda weird that out of the blue Steve wanted to take me there.
See, Steve and I had gone ring shopping about 2 weeks before the Botanical Gardens thing came up, so we had already picked out the ring. I knew Steve would be picking it up SOMETIME and proposing SOMETIME, but I didn't know how or when.
Turns out, Diana and Joe couldn't go to the Gardens on Sunday (the 18th) with us, so we went alone. We got there and went into the conservatory. BEAUTIFUL! We walked around and took tons of pictures and looked at the flowers, plants, cactus plants, waterfalls, ponds, and fish. The we went up the stairs to the second level balcony. Steve took me to this little secluded spot underneath a canopy of flowers and plants. I started to walk up a couple of wooden steps onto this platform that had a table and chairs, but Steve put his arm around me, turned me around and said, "I have a question for you..." Then he got down on one knee, opened the ring box and said, "Will you marry me?"
I kinda knew it was coming, but I was in shock! Being the retard I am I was like..."Are you serious!?!?" He laughed and said YES! haha...Then I was like "OFCOURSE I'LL MARRY YOU!!!" Then I jumped off the step onto Steve. hahaha. I was squealing and jumping around and smiling SO MUCH. It was so amazing.
Then we took about 50 thousand other pictures, bought an orchid, went to Denny's and came back to Steve's apartment.
Everything was just perfect and great. The day was truly beautiful. Now I have been thinking about weddings NONSTOP. Hahaha!

I'M OFFICIALLY ENGAGED TO THE LOVE OF MY LIFE!!

I love you Steve!

Details later!! :)

kudos julie. kudos.

i want pets. me and steve decided that when we get a place of our own that allows pets we are going to get a dog and a bunny! i get to have a bunny in place of a kitty b/c of steve's allergies.

tomorrow is st. patty's day. yay. green beer at 7am for .25 cents. good times.

oh yeah. i gave julie kudos because she told acacia exactly what she thought of her. aka: acacia is being a selfish, ungrateful, stupid, deceitful bitch. basically. i bit my tongue b/c i wanted to be a friend to acacia...and i wanted to be someone who would stand by her no matter what...but FUCK THAT. a friendship is a TWO-WAY FUCKING STREET. i'm sick of getting pissed on for trying to be a good person.

fake-ass bitches always irritating me. grrrrr....

that's all :)

i'm gonna go and spend my evening with my hunny bunch who is way fucking sweet and doesn't control my life and influence me to not talk to really important people in my life. :)

Because Steve is amazing...as well as my other REAL FRIENDS and people i care about.

Can it PLEASE be spring now? Seriously...I am this || close to completely losing my mind and I blame about 62% of my craziness on winter. First chance I get I am moving the hell out of Michigan. When people say, "Only in Michigan can you get frostbite and a sunburn in the same day." Haha...funny right? IT'S FUCKING TRUE. *dies*

"Spring Break" was alright. The best part was partying at Butch's for Julie's birthday. Le bar was extremely fun and being with my homies was equally as fun. Since my birthday, I have gained two pounds. Stupid alcohol, why must you contain so many calories? LOL.

Now I'm off to do nothing, then put on gross work clothes and trudge my way to the Physical Plant. After that I will trudge my way to Phelps hall and vacuum dark, abandoned hallways for 4 hours straight. OH. JOY.

Speaking of Joy, Heavenly and Nana are coming this weekend for Lil' Sibs Weekend which should be...interesting. Hopefully it's fun and I don't end up tearing my hear out.

This February has basically been the greatest month of my entire life.

My medicine is starting to work which is making me finally become me again. It's like a curtain has been drawn back from my eyes and finally...everything around me is beautiful again.

My 21st birthday was absolutely amazing. I didn't even get wasted, but I had a really great time with my friends. I got the sweetest sweater ever from Shantel. I fucking love this thing! lol. Julie got me a cute little birthdy cake which was very yummy. It was just awesome overall.

Steve. What can I even say?! He is my world and my everything. Valentine's day was unbelievable...The time and thought he put into it was wonderful. The best part is, he didn't have to spend a shit-load of money on me...it all came from his heart. :)

This past weekend was AMAZING. Nicole came to stay Friday night and we had a kick ass little party! At first it was just me, Steve, Nicole, and Julie. Then Aaron from Hill came and his suitemate TJ too. Then Michele and Suzy came too! It was great...we played Apples to Apples all night and had a blast.

Saturday was the BIG DAY. Me, Nicole, and Steve went to Detroit for the Jack's Mannequin show. It was by far the greatest show I have ever been to. I had a couple drinks and steered clear of the pit. Me, Steve, Kaely, and her friend Carol Ann (i think was her name) danced our butts off (well...Steve kinda swayed lol) and had a blast. It was so amazing and beautiful. I will always remember that night.

We waited over an hour after the show and I got to talk to Andrew. I just told him congratulations on his marriage and that he played an amazing show. YAY.

Coming up is Julie's birthday which will round out the most amazing February ever.

Ofcourse there has been a few bumps along the way...losing my promise ring, Joe, Acacia not calling me, Steve being overly stressed about his cousin, Steve's grandma passing away...

But without sadness, there can be no happiness...and I just thank God for everything :)

I am SPAZZTASTIC right now and here is why:

Steve's brother Joe was dating this girl Lane. She turned out to be a Scorpian Queen and did all these terrible things to Joe. They broke up and he was left dateless for his upcoming Military Ball. I decided that because he is my friend and future brother-in-law that I had to help him (while making the Scorpian Queen jealous). I asked one of my single sorority sisters if she would be interested in going with him and she said YES! I am sooo stoked! He looked her up on facebook and thinks she is pretty...so he is excited and she is excited and IM EXCITED. Hahaha...I did something good!! HOORAY!!!

ALSO

Yesterday was totally my 21st birthday! After midnight me, Julie, Steve, and Joe went to this local bar and they usually card you at the door, but when we walked in...no one was at the door carding. We stood there for a while, but no one came so we just walked in and sat at a booth. I went to the bar and ordered a rum and coke and DIDN'T GET CARDED. I was pretty pissed.

Last night was really great! I don't even know what to say it was just so awesome. Shantel got me some fricking sweet as hell gifts (I havn't taken the sweater off since! haha) and brought COLE, Julie decorate my door and got me a cute little cake!! Joe got me a card and some Starbucks liqueur stuff. YUM! And Steve gave me a foot massage and card and paid for my dinner at Applebees! AND got me tickets to see Jack's Mannequin this weekend!!!! Shantel bought me some AMAZING drinks...it was just really fun.

Hoorah!!

Holy. Shit.
I checked the weather this morning and it's -6 degrees, but it FEELS LIKE -25 degrees because of wind chill!! MY GOD.
Also, on top of that a "pipe broke" in the building that our heat comes from so Steve's room has NO HEAT and his room is freezing because like, half of his room is all WINDOW that reaches from the floor to the ceiling.
I'm starving and I want a bagel and coffee, but Einstein Bagel Brothers is CLOSED this morning because they don't have heat.

I have to go take an exam that I did not study for now.
BYE.

michelle+kansas=happiness

*stress*stress*stress*

phone bill $105 car insurance $450 tuition bill $187 medical bills $200+ FA'07 housing downpayment $200

All due in the first half of February. oh look, that's RIGHT NOW.

Michelle has $225 in her bank account. OH JOY.

Spring Break is coming up and I want nothing more than to go to Kansas and see my mom. My grandpa died unexpectantly last week so my mom is in Kansas with our family. She is going through some tough shit right now and I really need to be there.

Maybe someone will give me a thousand dollars for my birthday. Which is February 10th btw. :) I'm turning 21! w00t. The last birthday that actually means something. lol.

My coffee is only "Michelle's Preferred Drinking Temperature" for about 5 minutes. First it's WAY too hot, then there is that 5 minute period of "perfect temperature", then it's too cold and icky. Sigh.

I was eating my bagel w/ hummus and putzing around online. I looked down at where my bagel WAS and it no longer was. I ate it and hardly even realized I was eating it. This makes me sad because I kind of wanted to experience eating and tasting the bagel. LOL. Well, at least I'm not hungry anymore!

It's extremely way too cold outside. I was outside on my way to class with a can of Diet Coke. I know, it's stupid to drink cold pop out of a cold can on a cold day, but my lips like, FROZE to the damn can. Not pleasant.

I have to leave for work in about...20 minutes. For the 80 billionth time, I really hate work. I am charging up my iPod right now, but if I have to vaccuum today, I can't even use the damn thing b/c the vaccuum shocks the shit out of my ears if I am listening to my iPod while vaccuuming. I just used the word 'vaccuum' three times in one sentence.

I basically feel like poop and I have a map quiz at 5:30pm. I have to memorize about 35 Native American tribe names AND memorize where they are located on a map of the U.S. RIIIIGGHHHTTT. I haven't even LOOKED at the map yet.

I am really sad. I feel EXTREMELY bad for my Mom and for my aunt and uncles. If I could be anywhere in the world right now, it would be Kansas. The thing is, that is ALWAYS my answer to the question, "If you could be anywhere in the world right now, where would you be?" The answer is always 'Kansas' even when it's not a time like this.

Well, I'm gonna go now and blow on my coffee until it's just right...then drink it down real fast before it's too cold.

xoxo

Brace yourself for a lot of bitching.

My back and chest hurt so much. Steve and I think my back is out which is affecting my rib cage. It hurts to move and one of my ribs on the left side is jutting out farther than the same one on the right side. It's really painful, but we don't have the money right now to get me to a chiropractor. We have no money at all. Steve took on 7 extra hours a week at work so we can pay for me to keep seeing this psychiatrist lady so I can keep getting the medicine I need. It fucking sucks. We can't even buy groceries so I am living off of my Flex money right now which is $4 a day. Our phone bill and car insurance bill are due in a couple of weeks and they total over $500. Also, today EMU was like "Surprise! You owe an EXTRA $98 on top of the $132 you just paid us yesterday and if you don't pay this $98 right now...we are going to swamp you with late fees."

I just want to cry.

One of the girls I live with is driving me INSANE cause she must have some stick shoved so far up her ass she thinks that my main concern in life should be keeping the apartment so clean that it's CREEPY which is apparently what HER main concern is.

ARGH.

My life is completely up in the air right now. I just have to wait and see where the peices fall which I HATE because I hate waiting.

Fuck.

And I am UBER SAD because one of my best friends who said she would call me back like, over a month ago...has stopped returning my numerous calls and messages for no apparent reason.

........tear.......

OK I AM REALLY PISSED OFF.

I would really, really enjoy it if people stopped touching my things. Every single time I come back to the room from class or work or wherever my things are all thrown in a pile by me and Julie's hallway. Yeah, so I left my fucking purse and slippers in the living room!? There is no need for someone to throw them (and other random things, like a pen and some gloves) into a pile. The living room does not need to be prestine and perfect every second of everyday. It's called a LIVING room for a reason. If it was supposed to be used as a show room it would be called the SHOWROOM. My purse and a few other things sitting in the living room are NOT hurting you...so don't fucking touch them. It's not like the living room is one big mess. No, it barely untidy. LEAVE IT. I understand that we share space, but that doesn't give you the right to constantly move my things into piles out of the living room.

ALSO do not touch Steve's X-Box. Just because the games are not stacked as you think they should be, and the controllers are not tightly wrapped (like you like to do to them) does not give you the right to move them all around and wrap the controllers. They aren't in your way and they aren't hurting anything.

I don't touch your things...don't touch mine. Their placement is not hurting you so leave them where they are.

PSA: STEVE IS THE GREATEST MOST WONDERFUL BOYFRIEND EVER!!
Here is one of the millions of reasons why:



While I was driving home from Indiana, Steve was at the store in the fabric section...and he saw this one fabric that was pink and had Eeyore on it!!! He was thoughtful enough (I love pink and Eeyore) to get the fabric (and the magenta trim) and ask his mom to help him make me a pillow case and tube pillow! He also bought me some stuffing so we could restuff my old bodypillow.

I't so cute and I love it! I just wanted you all to know that. Some other good news...me and Steve might get to go to Fowlerville and see Acacia tomorrow!! Hoorah! I hope everything works out so we can!! AND I bought the Carrie Underwood CD because I liked one of the songs on it, and because we have similiar vocal ranges and sounds (so I can sing along with her) and it's pretty good!!

That's all...I'm gonna go cuddle with my BooBoo now! :)

LJ IS REALLY, REALLY PISSING ME OFF. THE LIST WAS SUPPOSED TO BE UNDER A CUT AND CENTERED, BUT NO. LJ IS BEING STUPID.

Here's what I got:

Yupp...so my Christmas break has been pretty good so far minus the 10 hours of driving I did in the last day. And the time I was away from my BooBooBear. I love just relaxing and doing whatever! No work worries or school worries! I'm hoping we get to go ice skating and visit Acacia before the end of this week too! When I went to Indiana, me and Katarra stayed at the Amerihost Inn because Stan is a grade-A jerk of the universe and Stephanie came to visit us in our hotel room which was SOO MUCH FUN!!! We laughed and watched the 40-Year-Old Virgin (which is really, really funny and cute)

I miss my mom and I'm sad that I only got to see her for a few hours...and the few hours I did get were kinda dampered by the whiney baby in the next room...but it was better than not seeing her at all...

And I'm proud of myself for doing all that driving and only have a few anxiety problems! Not that many though! Go Me! Well, my back is starting to ache from sitting here and me and Steve are gonna restuff my body pillow...

Byeeee

Just a quick update before I have to give up 5 hours of my life for a measly $35! My philosophy exam this morning was decently easy. I was about 75% sure of each answer, except for 4 of them that I was about 0% sure of. LOL. I was out of there by 9:30 though which gave me time to finally wash my grungy hair before work! I thought I had a lot more to write about, but I guess not. Hm.

Tomorrow is exciting because me, Steve, Julie, and Craig are all doing our gift exchange thing tomorrow! I am so excited for Steve to open his presents...he has no idea what I got him, but I hope he really likes it all. I know Julie will like hers...and me and Steve need to go to Meijers tonight to get Craigs.

Well, I feel shitty cause I thought there was more to write about...AND I now only have 22 minutes before work. I effing HATE work. I swear. Vacuuming for 5 hours is absolutely no fun. My arm and back hurts so bad after about 2 hours and I zone out so bad I'll do half a hallway and not remember doing it at all. Oh well, I have to get my work clothes on now and trudge down the hill to hell...aka my job. :)

So I'm pretty depressed right now. The dead body of a girl was found in Hill Hall (the hall where Steve lives) today. I feel so bad for her family, and for her. She was in school so she obviously had plans for the future and had goals. Plans and goals that will now never be achieved or reached. Along with that, Christmas is just around the corner...it's just terrible to think about what her family must be going through right now. There were news vans everywhere and it was just craziness. I didn't know her, but some people I know did and giving the girl a face and a name just makes it more real...and makes it sadder because she was just a normal girl just like any of my friends. The police don't suspect foul play so it could have been any of my friends...hell, it could even have been me. They think (well, I read this in the easternmichigan lj community) it was a medical problem.

I'm trying to not get overly upset, but I am going to try and pray for the girl and for her family and friends. Also, I'm going to bed early tonight, It'll be good for me.